This list of skills can be used during counseling sessions so as to build a rapport with those brethren that are being counseled.  The counselor is responsible for developing this skills. It is recommended that this skills be used and built upon during regular discussions so they will come natural during the counseling sessions.

1. Emotional Labeling:

The use of emotionally descriptive words to show that the counselor understands the feelings the counselee is experiencing.

2. Paraphrasing:

The counselor repeats the counselee’s meaning in the counselor words.

It allows the counselee the opportunity to clarify the message if it was not completely understood.

3. Reflect/Mirroring:

The counselor repeating the last word or phrase from the counselee.

4. Effective Pauses (Silence):

    Effective pauses allows the counselee a time to think about what he or she is discussing. It also gives the counselor a good time to sagway into another area of discussion or to ask open-ended questions.

5. Minimal Encouragers:

Brief, well timed responses that let the counselee know the counselor is paying attention.

Minimal encouragers demonstrates to the counselee that the counselor is listening, interested and wants to hear more.

6. "I" Messages:

Messages that personalize the counseling session and minimizes the perception that the counselor is attacking the counselee.

7. Open-Ended Questions:

Questions that encourage the counselee to talk about subjects that may not want to.

Open ended questions are used any time during the counseling session when more information is needed to better understand what is going on. It gives the impression that the counselor is paying close attention.

8. Summarize:

Always end the counseling session by summarizing what has been discussed and/or agreed upon during the counseling sessions.